deponti (deponti) wrote,
deponti
deponti

The Himalayan foothills of Bangalore

Bangalore is supposed to be sited in the Dakshin (anglicized to Deccan) plateau. But increasingly, I find myself in the foothills of the Himalaya, when I look at the traffic going past me.

It begins, as it always does, with gentle slopes. Vehicles gently climb over them. There are, even here, little chasms to be wary of...a broken spring, or a scraped tyre, might result. But we soon leave the gentle foothills and approach the greater elevations; traffic needs to slow down, and then push, with throbbing motors, up and down.

Next come the Big Challenges. Here, a gauntlet is thrown down to the passing motor vehicles, not only in the height, but in the series of hills that the cars or buses have to navigate. Thud-grind, thud-grind, thud-grind, they all go.

Since Venkateshwara's abode is in the Seven Hills, and Shiva lives in the Himalaya, every house owner in my city deems it a matter of pride to have two hills flanking his or her residence. As the traffic slows to a crawl and stumbles over the hills, the home owners' ego is satisfied...they, too, are god-like!

I just walked back from my daughter's home to mine, and I counted 19 small hillocks and 8 fairly large hills, with three or four deep abysses that an unlucky motorist could fall into and never be heard from again....our hilly, and at times mountainous, road topography is known by the rather tame name of "speed bumps" or "rumble strips"...little does the unimaginative BBMP (Brihat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike) know that they are helping us create a City of the Hills on a plateau!

I am looking forward to a time when it will become a matter of routine for roads to be laid in a series of ridges, with the mandatory small and big potholes nestling in the troughs. We can look forward to cars having treadmill belts instead of tyres. We can calculate our riding comfort in BPM...Bumps Per Minute. Every road will clamour for supremacy in these numbers, with the highest-achieving ones resembling corrugated cardboard, rather than a passageway for vehicles. We can count the number of pillion riders (and drivers) flung off two-wheelers. Perhaps, to top the whole thing off, we can introduce square or triangular tyres.

And since there will be ridges and bumps everywhere, there will be no need to even think of putting up signs about these!
Tags: bangalore, difficulties, humour, roads, traffic
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