deponti (deponti) wrote,

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How much crapola can take early in the year?

Message from the greeting card site that I use....

*Beginning of message*

Dear 123Greetings subscriber,

*here comes the utterly artificial sugary-sweet slang-Anerican oh-I-am-so-friendly startola...*

Hey there people ! A New Year, new events, new joys, but all that with your ol` friend Bob right here ! So how `bout the celebrations ? I'm sure the wagon is still rollin` ! Me `n my gang are still in party gear. New Year does that to ya. The celebrations are never-ending ! And parties always translate into bingin` on goodies, big time ! So you can imagine, the time me and my gang are having. We ain't called 'the foodie brigade' for nothing guys ! And with my best bud Kong to help us, there's hardly even a crumb left on the table once we have ploughed our way through it ! So while I busy meself with some more non-stop bingin`, you go ahead and check out the events we have in store for ya -

*Now come the most inventive list of "special" days...*

Cuddle Up Day [ Jan 6 ]
Umm, spread your arms wide `n give your loved ones a tight squeeze ! It's January 6th and it's Cuddle Up Day. Time to let all your loved ones know how special they are to you. Hold `em close and let them know how much you care. Send warm and cozy e-cards to all your near and dear ones.


Bubble Bath Day [ Jan 8 ]
Pamper time folks ! January 8th is Bubble Bath Day. Get into the stress free fun mode. Soak yourself in a warm bubble bath and get into the stress bustin` zone ! Think of all the good times you've had with friends `n family, and send e-cards to let `em share in your refreshin` memories !


Dance Day [ Jan 9 ]
Whoa ! This sure is gonna rock you ! January 9th is Dance Day. The last time I remember I hit the dance floor was on New Year's eve, and I thought I was doin` pretty good, when suddenly I found my legs somehow twisted `n before I knew it � Wham ! I was spread-eagled on the dance floor ! While you pack in a good laugh at that, send some funky e-cards and dance your way to fun !


Make Your Dreams Come True Day [ Jan 10 ]
Wakey !!! It's January 10th � Make Your Dreams Come True Day. Follow your dreams. Get, set, go ! And inspire everyone around you to go soarin` too ! Pass around bagsful o` good wishes and fill every heart with the courage to turn dreams into reality by sendin` across some positive thoughts.


Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friend Day [ Jan 11 ]
January 11th is Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friend Day ! Boy ! Reminds me of the time we used to have in grade school, splashing each other ! And the best part o` d deal is that today ya can actually get away with it ! Have a hip-hop-happy day sendin` fun e-cards all the way.


*End of message*

Hey, I want to make Jan 12 KILL THOSE GREETING CARD COMPANY IDIOTS day. Any takers? Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day indeeeeed!
Tags: humour, silly occasions

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