May 8th, 2006

wave

Crying..

I was listening to some lyrics and I found my eyes watering with emotion. I realized that I am culturally "allowed" to let my eyes water at the sight of a baby, a beautiful moon- or sun-rise, at the sound of a long-loved song, on reading a beautiful poem...but men aren't.

I saw my father shed tears only twice in his life--once, when his cousin (brought up along with him,because he was orphaned at an early age) died tragically in an accident; and when I got married and was leaving the wedding hall with the members of my new family. My brother, indeed, went off to play cards and I never knew how he felt about my leaving my birth-home permanently.

My husband never shed a tear when his mother died suddenly. Tears are "unmanly". Amazingly, in this respect, our movies seem more balanced. The old melodramas often showed the heroes with brimming eyes (right now, I have switched on KTV and "Kalatthur Kannamma", one of the movies of Kamalahasan as a heart-wrenchingly innocent-looking child star, is playing and there is Gemini Ganesh doing the glycerine)..but no, real life cannot have any man--or young man-- showing his emotions plainly.

This was also brought home forcefully when my "adoptive" son, a 6 year old neighbour, came home from school with lots of scratches and cuts...he waited until he was safely home and inside closed doors, after a 10 km ride from school in the bus, before bursting into tears.

Have you ever seen men wiping their eyes at the movies or at a play? Even women like me are ridiculed about it!

Perhaps men should also be "allowed" to cry, instead of merely showing the depths to which they can feel when you see the beautiful poems and lyrics they can create or enjoy?
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Why the back stroke?

I have been swimming quite regularly for over a month now, and yesterday, a little kid asked me, "Why do you always swim the backstroke?"

Because:

1. Far less water gets into my ENT system, and I don't spend the rest of the evening and night sniffling or sneezing with the water.

2. I am still very scared of water...it was my big "Fear Factor" thing to learn to swim...I think that if I can see the bottom of the pool, I will wind up there.

3. It's far more fun being able to look at so many thing around and above me...there are the various people in the flats around me, the children running around the pool (when they are not hitting me in the pool that is!)..the birds flying past, the large eucalyptus tree in our lawn swaying in the breeze, the moon coming up over the silhouette of our building....

4. I am still hoping that I might be able to swim with my contact lenses on if I use goggles and the back stroke...but I haven't had the courage to try this yet!

5. I am still amazed at the fact that the water bears up my body without letting it sink...it matches the wonder I feel every time a heavy lumbering jet soars gracefully into the air...

Swimming, walking and cycling...three of my favourite activities. I don't enjoy gymming very much...but these are three things that I can do for longish stretches of time on my own, without any need for company. My thoughts keep me company...and they are enjoyable ones....
wave

Trying to find a home for my babies...

OK,OK, so LJ is a great way to express myself without fear of the editor's pencil, but one DOES like to see one's name in print, too, so the regular exercise of sending articles here and there and hoping for a "yes"...and sadly counting the "no"s....

In the midst of trying to find a home for my article about the costs involved in wildlife photography...poor little orphan baby, when will you find a home?

The process reminded me of the words of Wodehouse (one of my favourite authors)

If an editor accepts an article, send another article to that editor. If an editor rejects an article, send that article to another editor!
wave

Mebby...

Mebby...
My bebby...
Will come home for a while....
She'll step off the running wheel
And I can have as well as feel
Her presence and her smile....

Mebby...
My bebby...
Will not be able to get away...
Since she's always in my heart
Perhaps we're not far apart
But halfway across the world,sometimes, is far to stay

Mebby....
My bebby.....
Will come..or not..I don't know
In hoping, my heart is singing
As my thoughts go winging
To my child who left home long ago.