May 13th, 2006

wave

Murder by extension...

The original quip was this:

A cub reporter was asked to keep his obituary as short as possible. So, after enquiring into the circumstances of someone's death, he wrote:


"Mr Swami looked up the lift shaft to see if the lift was coming down. It was. Age 48."



I worked this into a piece on lifts, which was published today in the Deccan Herald. Certainly, that is EXACTLY the way I wrote it.

To quote the DH: "Mr Swami looked up the lift shaft to see if the lift was coming down. It did come, when he was just 48."

The implication of this version seems to be that Mr Swami was waiting for several years on the staircase, and the lift arrived on his birthday...and where does his death come into the report if "it came when he was just 48"?

I have had pieces murdered by being hacked down. I have had them murdered by having incorrect statements interpolated. But this is the first time I have had a great gag killed off by actually giving me extra words.

All I can say to this is, from the heart...Deccan Herald...TOO MUCH!!
Too much of words, that is, some of them not written by me.

You want to read the middle? Here goes:

http://www.deccanherald.com/deccanherald/may132006/editpage151302006512.asp
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    Planning to practise in half an hour...
wave

What I wrote about DH...why do I keep sending stuff to them?

All my original (and undecimated) stuff can be found on my Live Journal ....

I pickle it there, and if it smells good after a while I send it to DH who then murder it and publish the corpse.


...I send to them because I don't know where else to send my stuff!!

Tomorrow I will find my work wrapping up masala dosais, protecting strips of tablets or capsules, being mashed up to make papier maiche figurines...and goodness knows what else....
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    some new film music...JUNK