March 4th, 2010

wave

Zero....

I seem to think no "useful", profound thoughts....am not out to change the world, except in the areas where it impinges where I live...I want to walk, not take the car, live simply... but I don't see the need to change everyone....I don't have a powerful job (I don't have ANY job!)...I seem to be always contented with small pleasures, small joys....I have no great achievements to look back upon....suddenly, I'm wondering if I'm missing something in life...

I was crazy to be a dancer when I was a child, but that was frowned upon in those days; I built up music classes to the point where I had more than two dozen students, but thrice I gave them up because of my spouse's career moves....even today, if I have to go out of town because of my interest, there is such a feeling of guilt.

Oh..it's just a passing mood, I guess...but at this moment...I feel that I've been less than what I could be...

Strange for me to feel so discontented; I am normally happy in myself, and pretty content.