June 28th, 2014

wave

Life, and letting go......

I am Sweden for a few weeks; when I went around a jumble sale yesterday, I had no cash whatsover, and even if I had some, I knew I would only be accumulating junk that would be of no use to me or the person I am staying with. This allowed me to go around the sale area without buying anything.

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Coming back home, I mused upon the fact that this is a metaphor for my life, too. If I lack the cash (the ability to get attached to something) I can go through life enjoying everything without getting too attached to it, bringing it "home" and being lumbered with it....

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At the jumble sale, I had a credit card that was not accepted. I accept that I do need some money....some attachment...to get me through life...but how can I ensure that I will have only the really important attachments? At the jumble sale, the decision was taken for me, but in life, I will have to make these decisions...and my mind is too fickle, too caught by what is glittering and meretricious, and I squander away my peace of spirit for "baggage" that only weighs me down....


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After my divorce, when KM moved out of the house, he was kind enough to have the apartment painted before my return. He'd packed a lot of bric-a-brac away, like the Swarovsky crystal, my collection of Ganeshas, the life-like miniature vegetables I bought in Dakshineswar....and I have never bothered to unpack them, since I returned (this was in 2012.) I actually feel the relief of not having to dust and clean them regularly....I have learnt, therefore, to shed *some* baggage. But the journey of learning to let go, is still very long....