deponti (deponti) wrote,
deponti
deponti

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Interest and Disinterest

themadman posted about his father telling him something funny...when relatives and friends heard that a son of his was getting married, they assumed that it was themadman and not his younger brother (who is the one actually engaged now!)

I too cannot understand this preoccupation with whether one is getting married, or having a kid, or....the next rite of passage in life. It's as if, if one conforms, one is validating these relatives'/friends' own value systems...

I am often asked about my daughter..it's 2 years since she got married, "any news"? I am not in the least bothered about "any news" myself, so find it amusing to note the interest, but accept it as part of the social scene. I call this kind of interest a need for "social information", and it's just part of the social fabric in the community I live in.


Personally, I do believe that questions about marriage and children may actually be touching a sensitive point, and therefore, should not be asked. After all, information about an approaching marriage or child will be common knowledge soon enough...

But the funny thing is, I am often asked such questions about OTHER people! (Eg. I know a couple who don't have a child after...hm...maybe 7 years of marriage,I am not sure..and other friends ask me, "do you know why they don't have a child?" ME? How on earth am I supposed to find this out, assuming I was interested in the first place? And assuming that I would have to ask them, why can't these friends ask them, themselves?

But...try telling your troubles to these same people who ask all these questions and suddenly....they are NOT interested, and you can watch as they mentally tune off...
Tags: interest, need to know, social information
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