out that official notification, "I am down"! and I know that the
people who care will immediately buoy me up with their messages.
I suppose different people handle depression differently; some like to
retire into their shells, lick their wounds and come out when they are
better...but me, I shout loud and clear for help...and I *always* get
help and each loving message helps me enormously in getting back on
I am a looooong way from the serenity I want to achieve...but
meanwhile.... I *know* that I am cared for and appreciated, but every
now and then, the shadow falls over my eyes, and I yell for help!
Those who commented and those who didn't but who, I know, do care for me...thank you so much. I am not too proud to ask for help when I need it, and I receive it in ample measure immediately.
I am quite myself again, and the prevailing emoticon is :) now....the barometer is set to "fair".
OK, the reason for the down: I had lost touch with someone who lived with my family for 7 years, and to whom I had been very close. I heard last week that he died of lung cancer, at the age of 58. I like his wife, his sisters were very close to me too....I felt so very miserable that I, who am NOT a person who loses touch, had done exactly that...for over 15 years I had no contact with them, as they, and I (before the internet, of course!) moved around where work (or spouse's work) took us....how I wished I had been to visit him once....those empty regrets that keep on coming up to disturb the mind and heart.
Now I am forgiving myself for the lapse, trying to realize that these things happen, and making a resolve to keep in touch with everyone, even though at times it IS overwhelming to try and do so.