deponti (deponti) wrote,
deponti
deponti

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Age....

Though I rarely post about age-related stuff (any age)...it's been on my mind today.

I *am* looking forward to the arrival of GB2B, and it will be great to have a brand-new persona to go with all my other ones. And if there is one place where I feel at home in, that's my daughter's home.

But...to stay far away from India, and actual home, for an extended period...to live, not the life I myself lead, but a different life, where it's actually the life/lives of other people...to not do all the things I love to do here (quiz, theatre, wildlife,volutary work, and so on)...I am wondering about that. But I know I will come back, and resume my life.

Then it occurred to me, this probably happens, in a terminal, no-coming-back way, to so many elder couples, when spouses pass away, and when children are abroad. Willy nilly, they have to uproot themselves and go to live abroad, in a culture they cannot understand, in a dependent situation, with not everyone happy about the new addition to the household, who may not fit in, or pull hes weight.

Or, as increasingly happens, they have to move to an old age home, which may, on paper, be very comfortable, but which may not suit them at all, and is expensive, too.

Even if the loss of the spouse didn't depress them enough, this would....

I remember how we asked my father in law to sell up his house and wind it all up and move to be with us, or with his other sons in the US. And I wonder if we should have let him be in his own home for a few years more...

The evening of life (well, I am not there yet, I think I am in the late afternoon!!) is a difficult time. As faculties fade, as one's dependency increases, it's tough for both the parent and the child to reverse roles. The child does not have the joy of taking care of the elder, as it's not a budding new life, but a fading old one. The parent knows that the prime of life is slipping away very fast...and there is nothing to be done about it.

Sad thoughts, uncharacteristic of me!

Waiting to cheer myself up with a shot of PVC (Park View Coffee.)
Tags: musing, old, philosophy, sadness
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