deponti (deponti) wrote,

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Some more one-liners from an internet forward

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but
they wanted cash.
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.
[15] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[16] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.
[17] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
[18] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done
it for you.
[19] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.
[20] They call our language the mother tongue because the father
seldom gets to speak!
[21] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
[22]There is only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it.
[23]There is only one perfect wife in the world, and every neighbour has it!
Tags: forward, humour, internet, joke

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