deponti (deponti) wrote,

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Why is it so hard....

Why is it so hard to have unalloyed joy? I went for a walk to do a lot of chores, and was actually singing under my breath, I was so happy. The sun was out; after the rain, everything was washed and free of dust... I was enjoying myself.

But then, I started thinking of those who cannot have these pleasures. Those whose health prevents them from walking about; those who have elders or youngsters to care for; those who have other worries, financial, or emotional..... and certainly, though I counted my blessings, the joy of the moment dimmed a bit for me, as a certain "why me?" guilt showed its head.

I've been taught to think of why is so hard for me to feel uncomplicated joy, without having it tinged with a little guilt? I am why I need to feel guilty that I am not amongst those who are not so fortunate?
Tags: guilt, lucky, musing, pleasant day, thoughts, walk

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