deponti (deponti) wrote,
deponti
deponti

Politics and politicians...both ARE jokes...

The problem with political jokes is
they get elected.
~ Henry Cate, VII
We hang the petty thieves
and appoint the great ones to public office.
~ Aesop
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us
in these acceptance speeches
there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~ Will Rogers
Those who are too smart to engage in politics
are punished by being governed
by those who are dumber.
~ Plato
Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build a bridge
even where there is no river.
~ Nikita Khrushchev
When I was a boy I was told
that anybody could become President;
I'm beginning to believe it
~ Clarence Darrow
Why pay money to have your family tree traced;
go into politics and
your opponents will do it for you.
~ Author Unknown
If God wanted us to vote,
he would have given us candidates.
~ Jay Leno
Politicians are people who,
when they see light at the end of the tunnel,
go out and buy some more tunnel.
~ John Quinton
Politics is the gentle art of
getting votes from the poor
and campaign funds from the rich,
by promising to protect each from the other.
~ Oscar Ameringer
I offer my opponents a bargain:
if they will stop telling lies about us,
I will stop telling the truth about them.
~ Adlai Stevenson
Campaign Speech, 1952
A politician is a fellow who
will lay down your life for his country.
~ Texas Guinan
Any American who is prepared to run for president
should automatically, by definition,
be disqualified from ever doing so.
~ Gore Vidal
I have come to the conclusion
that politics is too serious a matter
to be left to the politicians.
~ Charles de Gaulle
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession .
I have come to realize that it
bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~ Ronald Reagan
Politics:
[Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"]
~ Larry Hardiman
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,
it might be better to change the locks.
~ Doug Larson
Don't vote, it only encourages them.
~ Author Unknown
There ought to be one day
-- just one --
when there is open season on senators.
~ Will Rogers
Tags: forward, humour, internet, jokes, laughter, politicians, politics
Subscribe

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 5 comments