Today (2nd June) I functioned on two levels..on one, being myself, being with everyone, laughing and joking...on another.....hell. 37years. Starting with good ones....obviously, getting worse all the time. Died on January 24th, 2013.
What a failure I am. Apparently, I should not think this...but I do. I know that grief heals in time...but not yet, not yet. I cannot forgive myself. It's much easier to forgive others, than to forgive oneself.
Took me the whole day to decide to post this. My heart is still on fire.